


show me your love

by seenstealers



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Coming of Age, Crushes, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pre-Idol, Sleepovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:28:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seenstealers/pseuds/seenstealers
Summary: hyunjin and changbin leave out a few details when they talk about the sleepovers they had predebut.





	show me your love

Hyunjin would’ve probably missed the stop if someone hadn’t so forcefully pushed him out of the way so they could get off. He suddenly snapped back into reality, cursing under his breath as he tried to push his way off the train.

The door snapped shut behind him the moment after he stepped onto the platform. Hyunjin didn’t usually start to slip into sleep like that on the metro, especially standing, but after the Friday he just had, he wasn’t surprised. He navigated the familiar Yongin station, making his way to the right exit.

Pretty much every other Friday he would take the train going south instead of east from school so he could sleep over at his friend, Changbin’s house, even though the ride was long. They were part of the same debut team for JYP’s next boygroup set to debut in about a year. When Hyunjin was told he had to learn how to rap on top of being the team’s dancer, Changbin took him under his wing.

The sky was a little darker than it had been when Hyunjin first got on board, dark oranges mixing with the light blues from the warm day Seoul got to enjoy that day. He loved spring, the days got a little longer and trees looked more alive as days went on. His birthday was just around the corner, and he convinced their team leader Chan to take their whole team out to KTV. Life was good. Busy, but good.

Hyunjin loosened the straps of his bag because it was hiked up a little uncomfortably on his back, and slowed down to look around for Changbin. “Hyunjin-ah!” Changbin’s voice sounded from behind the younger.

He whipped around and saw Changbin walking towards him, hands shoved into both of his pockets. “Hey, sorry I didn’t see you when I was walking out,” Hyunjin apologized as they fell in step with one another. “It’s okay, I usually don’t wait by the exit like that anyways. How’re you?”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I’m alright, tired. Are you cold?” Changbin shook his head. Hyunjin’s brow furrowed. “You sure? You look cold.” Changbin adamantly shook his head once again, taking his hands out of his uniform blazer’s pockets, as if to prove a point. Hyunjin pushed the weird urge he had to grab Changbin’s hand way back in his mind.

Changbin stopped before the crosswalk they’d normally cross to get to his house. He pulled out his phone and glanced at the time. “It’s like, dinnertime actually. Do you want to get food?”

They agreed on a fried chicken place they both liked quite a lot. When the two were over at Hyunjin’s place, his mom would always cook for them; Changbin was her number one fan. At Changbin’s though, they’d usually go out or order take out, eating in front of his TV with whichever dumb drama they were into at the time playing as they complained about their day.

They walked the few quiet blocks to the restaurant, a familiar hostess greeting them and pointing them to a cramped table by one of the street side windows. The small room was already packed, and Hyunjin’s backpack accidentally hit the shoulder of a woman eating on her own. He apologized profusely, blushing, while Changbin failed to hold in his laughter.

Hyunjin took off his bag and settled it by the chair’s legs, careful to keep it out of the aisle, and hung his canary yellow SOPA jacket on the back of the chair. The uniform is a dead giveaway that he’s from out of town, and the color couldn’t be more distinct, especially compared to Changbin’s inconspicuous white shirt and black blazer he was wearing. He’d come right from school too. The two settled into the metal chairs and told the waitress their usual order right away.

The music was loud and it was hard to hear each other over the speakers and people yelling small talk at their friends, but it was still one of their favorite places to catch up.

“So, how was your day?” Changbin asked, taking a long sip of the hot water the waitress had brought when she took their order. Hyunjin shrugged, there wasn’t much to say. “It was fine,” he said simply. He giggled suddenly, remembering something. 

“Actually, another girl asked me out today, during lunch,” Hyunjin said. Changbin didn’t answer for a second. “Another?”

Hyunjin smirked. “Yeah, maybe I forgot to tell you but it happened last week too. What, are you jealous?” He teased as Changbin rolled his eyes.

“No, I’m not jealous, fuck you. I don’t really care who you go out with. You’re just flexing that everyone and their mother is in love with you, and that’s probably not even an exaggeration.”

Hyunjin giggled, he _was_ flexing. He couldn’t help but think Changbin sounded unconvincing when he said he wasn’t jealous, but Hyunjin was probably just being hopeful.

“So what’d you tell her?”

“I told her I didn’t like her in that way. Gave her a hug and stuff, I wanted to let her down nicely, it was probably embarrassing.”

“So you didn’t tell her it’s because you’re gay?”

Hyunjin reached out across the table and playfully shoved Changbin. Changbin hadn’t let go ever since he’d told the older he thought a guy in his class was hot. “I’m not fucking gay, you’re the only gay one here.” Changbin made a sarcastic ‘tsk’, and Hyunjin would’ve argued more if their food hadn’t arrived right at that moment: an appetizing basket of fried chicken, with plenty of honey mustard on the side, always their special request.

They devoured it all in silence, only occasionally speaking up to talk about trainee gossip or random bits of news they’d heard.

When they finished, they sat for a few minutes, letting the comfort food settle into their stomachs. Hyunjin zoned out of the window, watching as cars occasionally drove under the yellow-tinted streetlights that arched over the pavement.

“You have a little-”

Changbin’s gruff voice suddenly broke the silence between them, even though the restaurant was as loud as ever, and suddenly something dry was touching Hyunjin’s face, making him jump slightly of surprise. Changbin wiped the corner of the younger boy’s mouth with a napkin, bright yellow mustard staining the white paper. Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows.

“Romantic.”

“Shut up.”

-

They walked to Changbin’s house mostly in silence, content from their meal. “What do you think of the song we’re doing?” Changbin asked, referring to the song they’ve been practicing with their team. Hyunjin shrugged. “it’s cool, I like my center part a lot actually.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as he saw Changbin grin.

“Yeah, you look so fucking cool actually, and that one move…” He trailed off, whistling, which made Hyunjin laugh and hit his shoulder. “Stop, it’s not my fault Minho choreographed a body roll.”

The streets were completely dark now, and mostly silent. “But for real, I think you’re doing a great job with this. I know you’re nervous over the monthly evaluation but you have nothing to worry about. I’m sure bossman will compliment you well.”

Hyunjin broke into a wide smile. Changbin always knew how to calm Hyunjin’s nerves even when he didn’t explicitly tell him that he’s worried.

“Thank you, Bin. Really.”

When they got to Changbin’s house, while the older dived onto his living room couch, Hyunjin made his own way to Changbin’s room to change into comfortable clothes. Escaping the constraining uniform was his favorite part of the day. He left his bag by Changbin’s king bed that they shared when Hyunjin slept over. He was always envious of it. At home, he had a twin that he had to curl into a fetus position to really lay in comfortably. Curse long legs.

When Changbin slept over, Hyunjin slept on the floor, and while he always offered the bed to the guest, Changbin was always adamant on sleeping on the floor right next to Hyunjin. Even though the floor is arguably not the most comfortable surface to sleep on, even with carpet, Hyunjin would be lying if he said he didn’t adore cuddling with Changbin under the thick duvet they’d lay over themselves. Anything was better when it involved cuddling, Hyunjin thought, especially when it was with Changbin. Both of them were clingy and touchy people, so even when they’d just be watching a movie, the two would be all over each other.

“What’s this?” Hyunjin asked as he walked into the spacious living room. Everything about Changbin’s house was big, it felt like a mansion compared to the Hwang’s cramped downtown Seoul house. Changbin was laying on his stomach on his huge leather couch, school blazer discarded on a chair in the middle of the room, and a show playing on the TV.

“New drama. First episode.”

“Sign me up.” Hyunjin walked over and sat next to Changbin’s horizontal figure, hand immediately petting his hair as he started watching. “What’s it about”

Changbin flipped onto his back and put his head in Hyunjin’s lap, then shrugged as best he could in the position he was in. “Dunno. Looks like a cheesy romance.”

Hyunjin grinned. “My favorite.”

They watched two episodes in a row and got halfway through the third before Changbin spoke out of nowhere.

“It’s kinda funny, that we’re so close to debut. I feel like I’ve barely lived.”

Hyunjin scoffed at the random comment, not taking his eyes off the screen. “You’ve lived, hyung.”

Changbin shrugged. “Kinda,” he said, unconvinced. Hyunjin tore himself away from the drama for a moment. “I mean, you’ve spent your teenage years training at one of the top entertainment companies in Korea, you’ve already made so much music. How many people can say they’ve done that?”

Changbin sat up, quiet for a second, his eyes tilted towards his now-crossed legs. “I feel like I’ve missed out on some stuff though, important stuff.”

“Like what?” Hyunjin asked, already attentively watching the drama again. He saw Changbin shrug again in the corner of his eye. “Dunno, like I’ve never traveled out of the country. I haven’t worked a job.” He threw a look at the screen. “These kinds of shows remind me that I’ve never been in a serious relationship... shit, I haven’t even been properly kissed before.”

Hyunjin really didn’t mean to make his surprise obvious, but the way his mouth fell open and his eyes instantly leapt away from Changbin’s flatscreen to his face didn’t really do him any favors. He snapped his jaw back shut and organized his thoughts. Changbin rolled his eyes, a blush climbing his cheeks. 

“Stop judging me, SOPA Prince,” Changbin mumbled, his hands running nervously along his own thighs. 

Hyunjin shook his head. “Not judging, I’m just surprised. You’ve really never kissed anyone?”

“No, no. I mean, I’ve kissed someone before, but I haven’t, like…” Changbin trailed off before silently finishing his sentence by gesturing his hands in front of him, bringing his palms together into almost a clap.

Hyunjin watched him awkwardly. “You mean like, French kissing?”

Changbin sighed, cheeks a few shades redder than they usually went. “No I have, but that was like… standing.” Changbin paused for a moment. “I’ve never been like,” he raised a hand again, holding it flat in front of him. “Horizontal,” he finished with a grimace, letting his hand plop back in his lap.

“Oh,” Hyunjin mustered. On screen, a couple were exchanging a goodbye kiss before heading their separate ways for the night. “Making out?” Hyunjin offered after a few moments. Changbin nodded shallowly. “Yeah.”

The two didn’t look at each other for what felt like a few minutes, but was probably only a few moments. A weird tension was in the air, closing in on them. Hyunjin noticed Changbin’s head turn towards him in his periphery, but the older boy didn’t say anything.

“Well,” Hyunjin started, confident until he met Changbin’s gaze and suddenly felt his throat tightening up. The older looked at him, pupils confused. “Well…?” Changbin nervously drew out the word into the still air. The TV was still humming in the background, neither of them watching.

Hyunjin swallowed hard, scared his next words would come out a squeak. He had to sound a little brazen if he was really going to do this.

“Well, we can’t have that.”

“Can’t have wh-“

Before Changbin could finish his sentence, Hyunjin already slid his body towards him on the couch, moving his right hand to the leather backing by Changbin’s head to brace himself. Smoothly, Hyunjin swung his left leg over Changbin’s lap and moved his hips to float above the other’s. Changbin’s eyes were black moons, wide.

There Hyunjin was, straddling his best friend on his couch, their faces so close that he could feel Changbin’s shallow breath on his skin.

Changbin’s voice came out as barely a whisper. “Hyunjin-ah… What are you doing…”

A self-induced gay panic alarm suddenly tripped in his head. Changbin was right. What was he doing?

Hyunjin had been dreaming of kissing Changbin since the first few weeks of them knowing each other. The times they’d sit side by side in a cramped studio, faces turned towards each other and knees brushing, Hyunjin had always wondered what would happen if he just leaned in. He tried his best not to make it obvious that he stares at Changbin’s mouth when he raps, that when they’re training choreography together in the practice room, his mouth goes dry when he sees him in his dance clothes.

Hyunjin just moved his face closer, back arching to meet the shorter boy’s height. Surely Changbin would’ve pushed him off by now if this wasn’t okay, right? Changbin’s eyes were looking down his features, and it felt like his hand was hovering above Hyunjin’s ass.

He paused before he let their lips touch, and pulled back a little again to look into Changbin’s swirling eyes. His hands traveled from the coolness of the leather to Changbin’s face, his left hand’s fingers gliding into Changbin’s thick hair, and his right palm caressing his soft, angular cheek. It was like holding the world in his hands.

“Is this okay?” Hyunjin whispered, moving his thighs further up Changbin’s to slowly bring their bodies closer. He could feel their chests rising and falling in rhythm.

For a second, it looked like Changbin was going to reply, but instead he turned and pulled his face into Hyunjin’s, closing the gap Hyunjin had left.

Changbin’s lips were softer than Hyunjin had expected. He tangled his fingers deeper into the other boy’s locks and pushed their lips deep into each other. He heard Changbin whine as Hyunjin took the lead, one hand dropping to the back of Hyunjin’s neck and the other trailing down his back, his touch sparking through the thin shirt.

Their lips fit together with Changbin’s bottom lip getting caught between Hyunjin’s. The older boy was more passive but clearly turned on, letting Hyunjin take all the control he wanted. A swipe of Hyunjin’s tongue into Changbin’s mouth made him moan again, and the high pitch noise made Hyunjin’s trackpants way tighter than they were before.

Changbin moved his hands to Hyunjin’s hips, gripping at the waistband of his pants as he eagerly kissed him, teeth grazing his lips and making him putty. Subtly, Hyunjin pushed his hips down into Changbin, who used his arms to guide the thin boy’s body smoothly into his. The pressure made Hyunjin’s eyes flutter open, an embarrassing whimper tumbling out in a shaken breath.

He saw how Changbin’s biceps bulged in the position they were in to hold his body up, and he almost moaned just at the sight. He’d always been one of the fittest in their team, much to the delight of Hyunjin’s eyes.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Hyunjin couldn’t control himself whispering before pressing a hot kiss back on his love’s pretty lips. Changbin smiled into the kiss, shaking his head. “And you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” Hyunjin felt his stomach twist into a knot. No way this guy who he’d been pining after for months was into him. No way. Life never worked that perfectly.

They made out like that on the couch, tv fading as background noise to protect them from Changbin’s parents hearing anything too suspicious in their sleep. Changbin separated their lips with a wet noise, having to break a string of saliva connecting their panting mouths with a finger. “Gross,” Hyunjin murmured, forehead pressed into the other. “Shut up,” Changbin smirked.

Their chests rose and fell out of time, eye contact not breaking. Neither of them really registered reality in that moment.

When Changbin caught his breath he softly spoke, a hand reaching up to tenderly touch Hyunjin’s cheek.

“I have feelings for you, Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin had just begun breathing normally then, but it felt like the wind had been knocked out of him all over again. He let the muscles go limp in his neck as he hung his head in disbelief, taking a deep inhale of confidence before looking up again.

“I’ve been in love with you for months.” It felt weird for Hyunjin to confess something he hadn’t even admitted to himself yet.

Changbin’s mouth formed a perfect, tiny ‘o’.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted this, fuck,” Hyunjin cursed under his breath, feeling a growing blush burn his cheeks like a sunburn.

Dark eyes explored the younger’s face, taking in his details, but Changbin didn’t speak. Both of them had been keeping quiet, but now the drama was the only noise filling the air.

“What do we do about this?” Hyunjin asked quietly, sliding his thighs off of Changbin’s lap to curl up next to the older boy, reaching over to push the off button on the tv remote.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… We can’t really be a thing.” They were trainees at an elite company. Two _male_ trainees, at that.

“We can hide it, I promise it’s possible. Chan and Minho do.”

Hyunjin choked from surprise. “Chan and Minho?” He stuttered out, back straightening.

Changbin snorted “I only know because I walked in on them once. So as long as you can control yourself in a practice room, we’re good.”

“I have some self control,” Hyunjin protested with a tinge of forged hurt.

“Hmm, not in your gaze you don’t.”

Hyunjin felt himself blush again and he opened his mouth in protest. “What does that mean!” Changbin arched a dark brow. “You stare at me during practices. I knew you found me hot but I didn’t know you actually liked me.”

Hyunjin softened. “Of course I like you. You’re so important to me, you’re the reason I have any belief in myself.”

Changbin let the air hang still, the smell of teen sweat clinging to it.

“You’re the reason I strive to be better, Hyunjin-ah. I do it for you. So many times I’ve wanted to quit but, fuck, seeing you look up to me? The best motivation I’ve ever had. I feel worth something.”

Changbin probably would’ve continued if Hyunjin didn’t grab the front of Changbin’s shirt and pull the boy on top of him, connecting their lips with an electric touch.

“Then we’ll make something work.”

Changbin smiled the toothy grin that always made Hyunjin’s heart clench.

Suddenly, all these feelings made sense.

-

**Author's Note:**

> changjin are ABSOLUTELY my soft spot. the way those two interact is so soft and when they talk about their predebut sleepovers i melt.
> 
> thank you for reading this random soft fic, it’s been on my mind for a while. if you’d like, leave a comment! i love reading them & they make my day hehe. also I changed my username, but it's still me!
> 
> (also!! i’m going to be meeting skz in may!! i’m super excited i cant wait to black out during the hi touch haha i WILL freak out. i hope that everyone is getting the opportunity to meet our boys during this tour, and if not, that you’ll meet them in the near future!!)
> 
> come say hi on twitter [(@cosmichhj)](https://twitter.com/cosmichhj) or leave me [a cc!](https://curiouscat.me/neosuhh)


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